Have you ever had moments in your life where you wanted something so badly it was all you could think about? You believed that once you got that dream job, house, man, designer bag, perfect hairstyle, best friend, that everything would just magically fall into place. Not getting what you want can be extremely frustrating but what if it was actually a positive thing? Through experience, I’ve noticed that when I have my heart set on something there are three possible outcomes:
A) You get what you wanted and it’s all you had imagined it could be (cue fireworks, rainbows, unicorns, etc)
B) You get what you wanted but it wasn’t all that you had dreamed of and you are left feeling disappointed and even a bit empty.
C) You don’t get what you wanted but actually get something better: what you NEEDED.
This has happened to me with men, jobs and as recently as last year when I thought that I was meant to live in England. But if we back up for just a moment and focus on the “man” part I just mentioned, I would say that this seems to be quite common for women. We think that we want a guy that has certain things to offer but when we do meet that person and it doesn’t workout, we are left wondering where we went wrong.
I did exactly that about 8 years ago. I went on the search for the perfect good looking, charismatic, hard working, ambitious guy but what I didn’t realize at the time is that he would also be quite aware of his good looks, a little too friendly with the opposite sex, obsessed with his work and very demanding (towards himself and towards me). I’m not saying this to dump all over my ex. He was a great partner for a few years but in the end, we just weren’t compatible. He might have given me what I wanted but he didn’t give me what I needed.
This relationship was a great lesson in being more open to the type of men I would meet and eventually I fell in love with the partner I am with today and I’m truly happy. He’s not the type of guy I would have pictured myself being with and what’s funny is that I am not the type of woman he thought he would end up with but we are both so grateful to have found each other.
Skip to a few years after I met my current beau (who is from the UK) when I wanted to find a job in London and join him across the pond. I did everything humanly possible to find an employer that was willing to sponsor my visa but to no avail. After months of trying, I had to face the fact that at that moment, I wasn’t meant to move to Europe. I decided to enjoy my time here and wait to see what would come next.
Turns out that it’s a pretty good thing my wishes didn’t come true because in the end, if I had found a job and moved over there, I wouldn’t have gone through the process of realizing that I wasn’t meant to be part of the corporate world anymore and finally pursue my dreams of starting my own business. Today, I am giving it a second go and taking on the task of moving to Switzerland where my man works but I am doing it as an entrepreneur which is what I believe I am meant to do.
So you see, sometimes life (or “the universe” or “divine intervention” or whatever you want to call it) might not give you what you want when you want it, but that doesn’t mean it won’t happen eventually. Or maybe it will take a different (more awesome!) form than you had anticipated. You’ve gotta have a little faith but also keep your eyes open to other options that could be even better than what you had planned.
On that note, I leave you with a video which inspired today’s topic. It features one of my favourite teachers, Mastin Kipp, founder of The Daily Love. He knows a little something about not getting what you want but eventually receiving so much that you feel beyond blessed.