Today, many of us will be spending time with our loved ones. It’s funny how we use the expression “loved” ones and yet in the back of our minds we can pin point all the things that we would change about them to make them just a little more lovable.
It’s not that they aren’t amazing people, but if they could just be a little more like this, or a little less like that, they would be “better” in our eyes; better off in life (healthier, happier, less stressed) or just more pleasant to hang around with.
I used to be the queen of trying to change people until I realized that A) You can’t change a person and B) The best way to love someone is not to try to “improve” or “help” them but rather accept them as they are.
Now, that said, I still give some health advice on occasion to my dad or spiritual guidance to my mom but the difference is that I don’t make them feel like they are less than if they don’t follow through with the information I have passed on. Just as they have accepted my decisions in life, I accept theirs. And unconditional love is truly one of the most wonderful gifts you can give anyone on this beautiful Easter Sunday.
Here is a great video on this topic from Mastin Kipp of The Daily Love.
Loving someone or wanting someone to change to fit your model of the world isn’t loving at all, it’s selfish.
Start by cleaning up your side of the street. We often try to hide from our own insecurities by trying to change someone else but the best thing you can do is shine your own light and be your best self instead of trying to “work on” others.
You name it, you claim it. When there is something that bothers you in another person, it can be a reflection of something you need to work on yourself (I know this one is hard to accept but I’ve heard it a lot).
People don’t need more judgement, they need more love. The last thing anyone wants is to feel like they need to be fixed. People want to be loved for who they are (flaws and all).
Have you ever had an experience where someone was trying to change you or you were trying to “work your magic” on a loved one? How did it turn out? What did you learn from this? Let us know below! The more we share our stories, the more we feel connected with others and can grow rather than judging ourselves. Wishing you a lovely day! xoxo