During my yoga teacher training class, I was chatting with a fellow trainee about the fact that, as driven women, we have lost the art of cultivating patience. We tend to live in the “doing” rather than the “being”. We have places to go, people to see and goals to reach. In addition to this, we want things to unfold according to our timeline.
This is where we can run into some challenges. Although we do have control over certain elements and we can certainly take action to move towards our objectives, it’s not all up to us. Sometimes, we can push and push and push and were still no closer to where we want to get.
Let me give you a personal example. I met my British beau almost four years ago when he was working here in Montreal. We were together for two years when he decided to do a masters degree back in England. We figured that once he finished school, we would see where we wanted to live and move in together there.
Well, last year as the end of this degree approached, I was determined to find a job in Europe to go live there with him. For months, I searched and applied for jobs that I had the perfect profile for. I even took a month off to go there and meet with potential employers but despite my best efforts and impressive resume, I came back to Canada without a new job in hand.
I didn’t understand why things weren’t working out but after trying so hard and not getting the results I wanted, I had to accept that I wasn’t destined to move there at that moment. That’s when my boyfriend started to look for a job over here in Canada.
For months he applied to different positions and didn’t hear from any of the companies he sent his CV to (and he is a highly qualified engineer with a masters degree!). Long story short, despite the fact that we both want to be reunited on the same continent, it still ain’t happening.
Why am I telling you all of this? Well, it goes back to what I was saying in the beginning about cultivating patience rather than obsessing about make things happen and trying to control everything. In life, you sometimes have to be patient to get something, go somewhere, meet someone or be somebody.
I am the first to admit that I am not the most patient person and let me tell you that life is trying hard to teach me how to develop that quality.
I also believe in doing the best we can with what we have. That can be from a material point of view but also a situation like my LDR. My man and I have had to learn to play with the cards we have been dealt and make the best of a challenging situation. We are probably the most intense users of Skype on the planet and we cherish these chats like there is no tomorrow.
In addition to this, we savour the moments when we do reunite by taking these opportunities to discover new countries like when we went to Greece in March. We miss each other dearly but we know that life will take its course and that we will eventually end up together again.
So the lesson is: you gotta have a little faith and understand that it’s not just up to you. Learn to let go and enjoy the ride.